Crossing the Bridge
by Kiana Maria
Summary: A prequel to the show. Elena lives in Mystic Falls with her parents and her brother. She's a cheerleader and she starts going out with Matt. Meanwhile, Stefan is in Italy being a vampire.
1. January (Elena)

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Dear Diary,

When is something really exciting going to happen?

I spent last night at Caroline's house, with her and Bonnie. We watched some old monster movies and attempted to bake cookies. They came out slightly burned and slightly edible. Then we played this fortune-telling game that Caroline came up with. It seems that she's going to meet the love of her life this year, and Bonnie's going to fulfill her career ambitions. And Elena, you ask? I'm going to "find peace and serenity." I think I already have enough serenity. My life is as serene as the lake under Wickery Bridge.

* * *

Friday, January 2, 2009

Dear Diary,

Mom and I walked down Main Street today, hoping to have lunch somewhere, but everything was closed except Dad's office. We went in for a minute. Old Mr. Hadley (as opposed to his son, Young Mr. Hadley; people really call them that), was just finished with his appointment. He spent the next two hours telling us how Dad's office used to be an apothecary (whatever that is), and the high school was built on the site of an old Indian village. When we finally left, Mom said, "I hope I don't end up like him when I'm his age, so lonely that I start lengthy conversations with total strangers."

And those depressing thoughts ruined the day. I don't think Mr. Hadley's all alone or anything, though. He has his son and his grandkids.

* * *

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Dear Diary,

Could I be any more angry at my brother?

First of all, I woke up this morning and poured myself a bowl of cereal to find that he had dug every marshmallow out with his gross fingers and placed the box back into the cabinet. Then, this afternoon, Bonnie called and asked if I'd seen what he'd done on YouTube. No, I had not. So I looked at his channel and saw that he had sneaked into my room in the middle of the night and made a video of me sleeping and drooling all over my pillow. And he'd put a thought bubble over my head with the words "Matt Donovan" in it. So I calmly told him I would murder him if he didn't delete it immediately, and he just laughed. I had to wait till Mom came home and forced him to delete it. And he'd put these tags on the video, like "Mystic Falls High School," just to make sure everyone I knew found it. This is what happens when he has too much time on his hands.

* * *

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Dear Diary,

It snowed four inches last night. I bundled up and walked to Bonnie's house. The streets hadn't been cleared and the sun was so bright that it hurt my eyes. We went out and built a snowman, and talked about how much we missed being little kids. I can do more now, but I think I was happier then. Around the time I started high school, time started moving so fast. Why can't I have both? Why can't I be eight years old one day, and sixteen the next, and then eight again and then sixteen?

Because you have to grow up and find out that magic isn't real, that's why.

* * *

Monday, January 5, 2009

Dear Diary,

Today was the first day back at school after Christmas break. I saw Matt Donovan and he wasn't acting weird around me or anything, so I guess he didn't see Jeremy's directorial debut. We had cheering practice in the gym after school. Why does Caroline always have to be, both literally and metaphorically, at the top of the pyramid? Sometimes allowing someone else to have a tiny little bit of attention isn't going to kill her. And she talked me and Bonnie into working in the school's recycling program, which means I'm now going to spend my free period in that little room next to the cafeteria, where the garbage cans are kept, crushing sticky half-empty soda cans with my foot.

* * *

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Dear Diary,

Bonnie couldn't drive me home today, so Matt saw my poor little self walking forlornly down the sidewalk and stopped to give me a ride. When there was a tiny little break in his soliloquy about football I asked him how his mom was, and he just mumbled something and didn't really answer. I think his mom and Vicki are nothing but a great embarrassment to him. It's hard to believe that Kelly Donovan used to be my mom's best friend, before she "got all messed up," as mom says. Kinda makes me wonder what people my age are going to be like in 25 years.

* * *

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Dear Diary,

In history today, before the bell rang, Caroline sat down next to me and said, "So you and Matt are like, driving-home-together buddies?"

I can't believe she even noticed it. It really sums up her entire personality. She pretends like she's just asking a nice question, but there's this undertone of jealousy mixed with hostility. So I said, "Well, why not? We used to sleep together, after all," and her mouth dropped open and two or three other people turned around to look at me. So I explained that our moms were friends and that when we were babies, they would sometimes put us down for a nap in the same crib. So, technically, we slept together.

* * *

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Dear Diary,

During dinner Mom noticed that I wasn't saying very much and asked what was wrong. Caroline Forbes, that's what's wrong. So she said that I shouldn't take anything she says personally, and that she's just unhappy because her father left and her mother's not the most nurturing person in the world, and I should appreciate my Happy Two-Parent Home.

Jeremy had to repeat that her father left her mother for another man, as if we don't already know that. It was big news in this small town. I've heard people call her father the f-word, and I know that really bothers her. But she's not the only person in town with a gay parent. Allie and Henry Parker have two moms, and I think most people accept it, and they really don't seem to care about the people who don't.

* * *

Friday, January 9, 2009

Dear Diary,

I met Bonnie at The Grill for dinner, and Caroline was there. I've been so mad at her all week that I'd made up my mind to say exactly what I thought about her. But she started telling this funny story about something that happened in home ec, and we were all laughing and I just stopped being angry. You know, we never even talk on the phone and we never see each other unless Bonnie's also there. Bonnie and I are best friends, but I think Caroline considers Bonnie her best friend, but Bonnie considers me her best friend, and Caroline's more like her second-best friend. And I realize that I sound like I'm in third grade.

* * *

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Dear Diary,

Bonnie, Caroline, and I went to see Bedtime Stories, that Adam Sandler movie. We ran into Matt and Tyler coming out of the theater. When we stepped outside, the wind hit us and Caroline shouted, "Oh, I'm freezing!" and snuggled right up to Matt. I told everyone that I actually remember my parents telling me bedtime stories about vampires. When I was really young, like three or four. Normal parents tell their kids about teddy bears and unicorns, but my parents made up stories about vampires.

* * *

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Dear Diary,

I walked into the kitchen today and saw Mom locking that cabinet where she keeps her diary. I asked her who she thought would read it, me or Dad or Jeremy. She just sort of said, "Aren't I entitled to my privacy?"

I guess, but today it struck me as weird that my mom has a Secret Cabinet where she keeps who-knows-what.

* * *

Monday, January 12, 2009

Dear Diary,

Today in history, Mr. Tanner talked about the Lockwoods and the founding of Mystic Falls. He's really big on local history, but I guess everyone is around here. At the supermarket and the drug store they sell these little homemade pamphlets about the Gilberts and the Lockwoods and the other Founding Families. They sort of gloss over the slavery issue and try to portray our ancestors as heroic without glorifying the South.

In cheering practice I attempted a cartwheel and crashed head-first into the bleachers. I have a big red spot on my forehead which I think is turning purple.

* * *

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Dear Diary,

In the morning before school Matt saw me crossing the lawn and said, "Wow, what's that on your head?"

Thereby dashing my hopes that the layers of makeup I'd put on covered my bruise. He pulled up his pants leg and showed me this big nasty football injury on his leg. Bonding over ruptured blood vessels. How romantic.

* * *

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Dear Diary,

I just got off the phone with Bonnie. We talked about Matt for about two hours. She kept saying things like, "You two should go out, it would be so sweet."

But is that a reason to want to go out with someone? Because everyone thinks we would make a great couple? Yes, we've known each other since we were infants. But most people have in this little town. Yes, he's cute. And I have dark hair and he has blond hair, and we'd look so good together. Just think of those prom photos we can save to show to our grandkids. And that's really all I'm expected to do: finish high school, probably go away to college, and then come back to Mystic Falls, get married and have kissed and carry on the Gilbert legacy.

* * *

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Dear Diary,

Mom was at the kitchen table today, writing in her diary. Her phone rang and she went to answer it, so I sat down and glanced at the pages. There was some boring thing about the Town Council and the Lockwoods, and then she shouted, "Elena!" and came back into the room. I didn't think it would be that big a deal to her, but she snatched up the diary and locked it into the cabinet. Then she said, "How much did you read?"

Hardly anything, really. Then she said, "Are you sure?"

So I asked her what her big secret could possibly be. She said, "I'll tell you when you're older," and left the room.

I told Jeremy about it, and he surmised that our mother is really a member of a secret society, as are all the oldest members of the Founding Families, and all those Town Council meetings are really just a front for the Illuminati.

* * *

Friday, January 16, 2009

Dear Diary,

It's a three-day weekend. When the last bell rang today, Tom Melton shouted, "Thank you, Dr. King!" I'm sure giving everyone a day off was what he had in mind when he was sitting in a jail cell in Birmingham.

Anyway, The Grill was packed tonight. When I went in with Bonnie and Caroline I saw Matt and Tyler playing pool. After we ate I went over to the jukebox and Matt came up behind me. We argued about what song to play, and I finally said, "My quarters, my decision." We played pool and kept ordering more sodas and pretzels from Vicki. We had to combine whatever cash we had to come up with a tip. Does it make sense for Matt to tip his own sister? I kinda get the idea that their Mom doesn't contribute much to the household finances, and they have to share everything they make.

* * *

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Dear Diary,

I noticed that the lock was off Mom's "secret cabinet" today, so I looked inside and found it empty. Apparently, she's found an even more secret location. What could be so private that she has to put so much effort into hiding it from me?

* * *

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Dear Diary,

Tyler Lockwood's parents were out of town, so he had a big party. I hadn't been to the Lockwood mansion in a long time - I think the last time was for some Girl Scout event - and I'd almost forgotten how grand-scale it really is. I saw Matt, but it's not like you can really talk with a million people around and loud music playing. I came home really late (early?) and Mom was kind of mad. But really, what does she have to be worried about? What could possibly happen between Tyler's house and home? This is Mystic Falls, where everybody's happy and/or pretending to be.

* * *

Monday, January 19, 2009

Dear Diary,

Jeremy almost died. He was eating an apple and started choking, and Dad had to reach down his throat to pull the piece of the apple out. Then he was taking really deep breaths and Mom was really freaked out. She kept shouting, "How many times have I told you to chew your food slowly?" and "What if you'd been home by yourself?"

Just another Gilbert Family Miracle.

* * *

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Dear Diary,

We watched Barak Obama's inauguration in school today. Bonnie keeps going on and on about how she's psychic and she knew he would be elected. I think everyone who heard Oprah say, "He's my fayyyy-vorite senator!" knew he'd be President some day.

So, end-of-semester final exam season is upon us, which means we don't have cheering practice this week.

* * *

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Dear Diary,

No time to do anything except eat and sleep and study.

* * *

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Dear Diary,

I had three finals today. Mom asked me how I did. I won't know until my report card comes in, will I? I really think Mr. Tanner threw in some questions that we have never discussed in class, but he thinks we're just supposed to know.

* * *

Friday, January 23, 2009

Dear Diary,

Today we had our other three finals. After school, almost everyone celebrated at The Grill. Matt and Tyler, however, were nowhere to be seen. I've just now realized that I'm starting to look forward to seeing him, and feel disappointed when I don't.

* * *

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Dear Diary,

I woke up today with a massive headache and when I went down the hall I was fully awakened by the sound of Jeremy vomiting into the toilet. Hopefully, if I stay away from him I won't get really sick. I took some aspirin and spent most of the day at the library just to get out of the house. I sat down with a stack of magazines and saw this girl sitting on the floor by the windows, reading one of the Twilight books, with tears running down her face.

* * *

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Dear Diary,

Matt texted me this morning and said, WUT R U DOING? I wasn't doing much of anything. So he asked me if I wanted to "go to the field and practice." Apparently, football players do that on Sundays. He picked me up and we drove to school and parked on the street near the field. It was weird to be at school, alone, on Sunday. The field was covered with a couple of pristine inches of snow, and I almost hated to mess it up. He got a football out of the trunk and we played catch for a while. Then I worked on some cheers, and I hadn't realized that I felt really out of practice after only one week.

We had a little argument about what's harder, football or cheering. I said that football players don't lift each other into the air and vault off each other's shoulders to the ground, and he said, "How hard can it be?" So he attempted to lift me into a cupie stunt and I ended up falling on top of him and into the snow. We were all tangled up together and both of our faces were frozen and wet. He pushed my hair aside and we kissed.

* * *

Monday, January 26, 2009

Dear Diary,

Matt was the first person I saw in the hall this morning. We walked to his locker and were talking, and Bonnie came in and saw us. She sort of jokingly gasped and kept walking. Then she texted me during homeroom and asked, MELENA OR EATT?

Melena, or course. How would you even pronounce Eatt?

* * *

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Dear Diary,

When Caroline sat down beside me in history today, she said, "Oh Elena, why didn't you tell me about you and Matt? I had to hear about it from Bonnie. I thought we were better friends than that."

So, let's analyze her statements. First, she acknowledges me and Matt. She feigns excitement. But then she has to find a way to portray herself as the victim of the situation. I have to be harming her in some way. So she decides that the way I'm harming her is that I didn't tell her about it. So I said that we hadn't even officially gone out yet. And she said, "But you're all coupley now, aren't you?"

I guess.

* * *

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Dear Diary,

Report cards came today. Jeremy got straight A's, and I got the first report card C of my life. I don't have to tell you what class it was in, do I?

* * *

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Dear Diary,

Matt and I saw each other on the school walk this morning, and held hands until we got to his locker. On the way home, he's all Bonnie and I talked about. Everyone else seems more excited about it than I do. He called me after school, and we actually talked. Talk-talked, rather than texting. I was complaining about Mr. Tanner, and he said, "You have no idea." Apparently, he's even worse on the field than he is in history class.

* * *

Friday, January 30, 2009

Dear Diary,

I guess Matt and I are officially going out now. At lunch, he asked, "What do you want to do tonight?" instead of, "Are you doing anything tonight?" So, we've officially crossed the bridge into couplehood.

Anyway, we went to The Grill and ate, and then he drove me home. We sat in his car, in the driveway, in the dark, listening to the radio for a while.

* * *

Saturday, January 31, 2009

Dear Diary,

Mom wanted to have Matt over for dinner. While we ate, she asked him a lot of embarrassing questions that he obviously didn't want to answer. Finally, Dad mentioned the broken-down Camaro in the garage, and he, Matt, and Jeremy went out to look at it while Mom and I cleared the table. We have our gender roles worked out so well in this house.

When they came back in, I popped some popcorn, and Matt and Jeremy and I stayed up late watching TV while Mom and Dad went to sleep. I woke up in the middle of the night, on the floor. Jeremy was on the couch and Matt's head lay on my stomach. I really, really had to pee, so I had to wiggle out from under him, which I did without waking him up.

I went upstairs and lay down for about an hour, but I didn't fall back asleep. Matt woke up while the sun was rising. We went out onto the porch and talked for a while (and made out for a while) before he left.


	2. February (Stefan)

February 1, 2009 - Arrived in Tuscany. House is abandoned, in ruins. After dark, I lay on the ground, between grape vines, catching snakes and rabbits. If Damon were here, what would he say?

* * *

February 2, 2009 - After sunrise, further explored the villa. Staircase is broken and floors are unsteady. A book in the library crumbled apart in my hands. A painting, of a family, is torn in half and hanging from a wall. Who are they? When did they live, and why did they leave?

* * *

February 3, 2009 - Walked to the village for supplies. As recently as fifty years ago, this village was teeming with Salvatores. Now they've all moved away - to America or the bigger cities in Italy. I don't have to worry about meeting any distant relatives or being asked if I'm Giuseppe Salvatore's great-great-grandson.

* * *

February 4, 2009 - More comfortable to lie with piles of blankets between my body and the cold marble floors.

* * *

February 5, 2009 - Hard to sleep. That's what comes from a diet of animal blood. Do I live the way I do because I care so much about people, or is it because I care so little that I see them as moving objects not worth my interest?

* * *

February 6, 2009 - Immortality is not a gift. 145 years ago, my human life was taken from me. At that time, it had seemed that the War would never end - but that war ended and countless others have begun and ended since. The taste of my father's blood, during the agony of my transition, is as fresh in my memory as it was in my mouth on that horrible day. If only I had been strong enough to resist, and had let myself die. But I was not strong enough, and now I must live like a monster, secluding myself away from humanity. And it will never end.

* * *

February 7, 2009 - Decided to repair the villa. Maybe I'm just desperate to feel that I'm being productive in some way. I'll start with the floors, and then see what I can do about the staircase.

* * *

February 8, 2009 - A hammer and a nail make a man feel alive. Most of the windows are missing their glass. For years, wind and rain have had their way with the place. Wood swells, and doors are impossible to close.

* * *

February 9, 2009 - While fixing a windowsill I missed my target and hammered a nail into the flesh above my wrist. When I pulled the nail out of my skin, crimson liquid spilled to the floor. Overcome with desire, I lost control. Could there be a more pathetic sight than a vampire, collapsed to his knees, sucking his own blood?

* * *

February 10, 2009 - Needed to leave the house. I walked to the village, and the crowds told me it was Market Day. Street vendors sold everything from chickens to vegetables to radios to brass bed frames. I bought a bottle of wine and paused near a flower stand. While breathing in the scents of roses and lilies, I heard a giggle. Looking up, I saw a girl, a young woman, framed by a rainbow of blossoms.

"You don't need to put so much thought into it. She'll just like the sentiment."

"She?" I asked.

"There must be a 'she.' Young men don't often buy flowers and wine for themselves."

Unfortunately, this man does. I bought an expensive bouquet and found a place to spend the night.

* * *

February 11, 2009 - Woke up with a headache from too much wine and too little blood. First thing I saw were wilted rose petals. I tossed them out the window to the cobblestones below.

* * *

February 12, 2009 - While walking down an alley I heard a familiar giggle. Turning, I saw no one. Then the giggle came again. "How did she like the roses?"

A window was open and a girl sat inside, gossamer curtains billowing around her.

"The roses," I said, "were thrown into the street."

"Oh," she said, and giggled again. "Oh well, too bad."

"Simona!" someone called from inside.

"Is that your name?" I asked, repeating it in my mind.

"Si," she nodded. "What's yours?"

I told her. She said, "I must go," and she disappeared.

* * *

February 13, 2009 - After dark, I looked out the window. So many people, making their ways through the world, believing that they'll go to bed each night and be safe. With no idea that real monsters lurk in the shadows.

* * *

February 14, 2009 - Awoke early this morning to the sound of church bells ringing in honor of Saint Valentine. Couples walked through the streets hand-in-hand. When I passed the alleyway, Simona stepped out, wearing a red dress.

I asked her why her flower stand wasn't open, today of all days. She said that so many people sell flowers today that she doesn't make a profit, and takes the day off. She was on her way to a party, she said, and was going alone (hint, hint).

It had been so long since I'd been to a party that...I stopped myself from telling her. But I was tired of being alone with my thoughts, so I agreed to accompany her.

We arrived at an apartment and were greeted at the door by an old woman whom Simona called Signore Balducci. When she introduced me, Signora Balducci raised an eyebrow as if to say, "Salvatore? The Salvatores?"

I didn't explain. Classical music played, and about ten people stood around and talked until early in the morning.

* * *

February 15, 2009 - As the sun set, I heard a knock on my door. I opened it to find Simona, standing on my doorstep, dressed to go out. It seems that she and her friends have these parties every night. I told her I was tired, and just wanted to watch TV and go to sleep. I didn't tell her that I needed blood. She seemed very disappointed. As she left, I heard her cell phone ring.

An hour later, I walked to a butcher's shop for a raw steak. I stood in the shadows and sucked it dry.

* * *

February 16, 2009 - Simona came to my room again tonight, and again she asked me to the party at Signora Balducci's. I asked her why it was so important that I go with her. She instantly became outrageously flirtatious and told me she'd be so disappointed if she had to go alone. So I went.

All of the same people were there: no more, no fewer. Opera played, and a bearded man named Tomasso seemed to be the center of attention. He suddenly became very interested in me, asking me my name and where I was from. I told him that though my family's heritage was Tuscan, I was born in America. He wanted to know where in America. "A small town in Virginia," I said, "that you've never heard of."

"And what year were you born?" he asked.

I paused. "1992."

People don't usually have to pause before stating their birth date. But people don't usually inquire about it five minutes after meeting someone. Tomasso de Luca. A strange man.

* * *

February 17, 2009 - At the party tonight, I saw Tomasso go into another room, so I stood at the wall between me and him to listen. He chatted to someone about pasta and restaurants, and then, just as Simona interrupted me, I thought he said "vampire." I honestly don't know if I really heard it or if my mind created the illusion.

* * *

February 18, 2009 - Now, I have no doubt. Tomasso de Luca, whoever he is and whatever he may do, knows about vampires and talks about us with his friends. While I listened to him tonight, I had to fight the urge to pin him against the wall and ask him what he knows and how he knows it. I had to pretend that I didn't hear a thing.

* * *

February 19, 2009 - When Simona arrived at my hotel room tonight, I refused to go with her. I also told her that she should stay away from those people. They're all so much older...why does she socialize with them? And why every night?

"They're fun," she said. "Intellectuals. People my age are boring."

"Tomasso," I said. "There's something about him I don't like. He seems...dishonest."

"Dishonest!" she laughed. "We're all dishonest! Are you showing your true self, Stefan?"

No, but I have a good reason not to.

* * *

February 20, 2009 - In the early morning hours, I lurked like a monster outside of Signora Balducci's apartment. When I saw Simona leave I hid in the shadows. Shortly thereafter, Tomasso emerged. I followed him home.

* * *

February 21, 2009 - Around noon, I walked to the house where Tomasso lives. Two hours later, I saw him leave, locking the front door behind him. I followed, keeping as great a distance as possible. As we walked, the streets grew more empty. We finally came to his destination - a cemetery.

He opened the gate and walked in. I let a few minutes pass before I climbed the fence. When I landed on the other side, my feet made a noise on the pavement. Tomasso had disappeared behind the statues and sarcophagi. I ran in his direction, and came upon him entering a small wooden chapel through a narrow door. Peeking in a window, I noticed that the chapel had skylights and was being used as a greenhouse. On tables inside grew pots of vervain.

I ran through the cemetery and over the fence.

* * *

February 22, 2009 - Early this morning, I knocked on Simona's door. Her mother answered, and told me she was in the village, setting up her flower stand. I rushed around the corner and found her near the church. When she saw me, she looked surprised.

"You can't go back there tonight," I said.

She laughed. "Why?"

"Tomasso de Luca. He's involved in something bad."

"Something bad?" she repeated, laughing. "Oh no, something bad!"

"I'm serious," I said. "You have to stay away from him."

"Why?" she asked. "Is he a criminal or something?"

"No," I said. "It's something I can't tell you about."

Anger flashed onto her face. "Well, if you can't give me a reason to stay away from him, I'm not going to."

What could I tell her? Could I tell her about vampires? And would she believe me if I did?

* * *

February 23, 2009 - I accompanied Simona to tonight's party. Shortly after I walked in the door and saw Tomasso, I said in a fairly loud voice, "I saw the strangest person last night, in the middle of the night."

Knowing that I had everyone's attention, I continued my story. "His face looked so weird...pale, and the veins around his eyes were dark and bulging out of his skin. His eyes were darker than any I've ever seen, and his teeth were strange too. They almost looked sharp."

Tomasso listened keenly. Signora Balducci asked, "What was he doing?"

"Standing in the street," I said. "Nothing else."

They all looked at one another. Tomasso cleared his throat, and then he changed the subject.

* * *

February 24, 2009 - This morning I awoke to a knock on the door. Half-asleep, I stumbled out of bed. When I opened the door, wearing only pants, I saw Simona standing in the hall.

She walked right past me and flicked on the light.

"Do you want something?" I asked.

"Yes," she said. "I want you..." She pulled open the curtains. "To come to the party tonight."

I shielded my eyes from the sun.

"What's the matter?" she asked. "It's only sunlight."

I stepped into a dark corner of the room and pulled on a shirt. "It's too early for sunlight."

She studied me, her eyes moving up and down my body. They paused on my hand.

"Is that a ring?" she asked.

"Yes, obviously."

"It looks old."

"It's kind of an heirloom."

I pulled open the door. "I want nothing to do with Tomasso," I said. "Or Signora Balducci, or anyone else. I highly recommend that you stay away from them. But if you don't, I can't see you."

"I'm sorry you feel that way," she said, and left.

* * *

February 25, 2009 - Yesterday I believed I would never see Simona again. But this morning I felt myself irresistibly drawn to her house, unable to leave her without telling her what I know.

I stood in her doorway and knocked. I waited, and knocked again. Finally, she opened the door.

"Can I come in?" I asked.

"Why?" she said, immediately defensive.

"I need to talk to you." I looked up and down the alley. "It's important."

"'Don't go to those parties anymore.' That's all you have to tell me, isn't it?"

"No," I said, "I'm going to tell you why."

She gestured for me to come inside and closed the door behind me.

"Well, what is it?" she said, sitting down. "What could it be?"

"Tomasso," I said. "He appears to be some sort of...vampire hunter."

Her expression didn't change. "What does that have to do with me?"

I walked across the room and back. "I think some of your other friends are too," I said, "and that's not something you want to be involved in."

Her cell phone rang, and she opened it. "Si," she said. "Si." And then she hung up.

"Who was that?"

"No one."

"I have a place," I told her. "I'm staying in a villa outside of town. You could come stay for a while. Just to get away..."

"Is it private?" she asked.

"It's surrounded by hundreds of acres of grapes. There's not another house in sight."

"All right, I'll go."

* * *

February 26, 2009 - I rented a car, and Simona and I left early in the morning. Her mother's going to mind her flower stand while she's away. I asked her what she told her about where she was going, and she muttered, "Oh, I just said I'd be back soon." She asked me for directions to the villa, to give to her mother, in case of emergency.

As we drove, she played with her phone until she lost the signal. Then she looked out the window. She fiddled with the radio and found only static. She looked out the window again. "Wow," she said. "Grapes."

Two hours later, we were at the house. "It's falling apart," Simona said.

"Yeah." I opened my door. "I forgot to mention that."

We carried our luggage inside. The parlor, the kitchen, and one bedroom are live-in-able. Simona can have the bedroom, of course.

"Where are you going to sleep?" she asked.

"Outside," I said. "It's warm enough."

We picked eggplants and zucchinis, and fried them for dinner.

* * *

February 27, 2009 - I woke up this morning, near the stream, to find Simona sitting beside me. She held my arm in her lap, and pulled at my ring. The sun was in the sky, and so I immediately snatched my hand away.

"I was just looking at it," she giggled, as I sat up. "Don't act like I'm a jewel thief."

"You startled me." My head pounded from lack of blood.

"I made you a cup of tea." She handed me a glass of warm liquid.

I held the cup in my hand and looked out to the horizon. "We could stay here forever," I said. "If you want."

"Aren't you going to drink?"

"Of course."

I put the glass to my lips and swallowed. It burned its way down my throat, and I immediately choked, spitting out what I could. "What's in it?" I gasped. "Did you put -"

"Vervain?" she laughed. "Maybe a little."

Just then, I heard a loud rumbling in the distance. I turned my head and saw three cars on the road, driving towards the house.

Simona rose to her feet. "I know what you are!" she shouted. "I've always known!"

The cars stopped feet from where I lay. Tomasso de Luca emerged from a driver's seat, holding a wooden stake in one hand.

* * *

February 28, 2009 - I'm in the bedroom, in the dark, with nothing but a dim flashlight to write by. After they dragged me inside, they boarded the windows and nailed closed the door. I hear Tomasso congratulating Simona. She was the bait, and I've been caught.


	3. March (Elena)

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Dear Diary,

Kissing my boyfriend is like kissing my brother. No, not that gross, I guess. More like kissing a mannequin. Not good, not bad. Just sort of there.

* * *

Monday, March 2, 2009

Dear Diary,

So, the big spring dance is coming up, and guess who put herself in charge of it? If you said Caroline Forbes, you're right! She decided that this year's theme is going to be "paparazzi." You're supposed to come as your favorite celebrity.

"'Cause, like, then you could be really outrageous if you wanted to, like you could do Lady Gaga, but you could also just wear everyday clothes. Like a guy could just wear a T-shirt and pants and be John Mayer."

She wants to have a red carpet laid out at the entrance to the gym, and have all the yearbook photographers lined up. And someone will be there with a video camera and a microphone to interview everyone as they walk in. It could be fun.

* * *

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Dear Diary,

Caroline ran her ideas past Ms. Jessups, and she wholeheartedly agreed. So, Bonnie, Matt, Tyler and I have been finagled into spending the next three weeks setting up the whole thing.

* * *

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Dear Diary,

We had cheering practice outside today, while the football team practiced at the other end of the field. Afterwards, I walked to Matt's car to wait for him. He was about to cross the parking lot, and then I saw Caroline call him, and then he turned around and both of them started searching the ground for something. Then Caroline picked up something and they sort of laughed. When he got to the car he told me she had lost her earring. We drove home with the windows rolled down and the radio turned up.

* * *

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Dear Diary,

Matt and I went to The Grill for dinner. He's really obsessing about Monday's game against Washington. He's also obsessing about his grades, and obsessing about that incident in ninth grade that he intended-as-a-joke-but-Mr. Shelby-didn't-see-it-that-way.

The only chance he has of going to college is to get a full scholarship.

I've always kind of seen my family like my house: Jeremy and I are the top floor, which is supported by the bottom floor (Mom and Dad). But Matt's house has one floor and a basement. So he and Vicki are the main level, and their Mom's somewhere in their dark and dingy basement, not knowing or caring very much about what's going on upstairs.

* * *

Saturday, March 7, 2009

Dear Diary,

Bonnie and I hung out at Caroline's house for a while. Caroline's obsessed about the dance and who she's going to go with. She was lying on her side, on her bed, with her hair hanging over her face, and she said, "It must be nice to have a steady boyfriend."

As Mom always tells me, she's not really jealous, she's just insecure.

* * *

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Dear Diary,

Aunt Jenna was in town today. She came over for dinner and entertained us all with stories about Life in the Big City. Whenever Jeremy or I say that we want to leave Mystic Falls someday, Mom and Dad laugh and say, "Oh, when I was your age, I thought that too, but when you're older..."

But Jenna left, didn't she? As soon as she had the opportunity, and she has no intentions of ever moving back.

* * *

Monday, March 9, 2009

Dear Diary,

We didn't have cheering practice today, but the guys had football practice, so Bonnie, Caroline, Darcy Quain and I sat on the bleachers to watch. Gee, Mr. Tanner really is worse on the field than he is in the classroom. He seems to be under the impression that those big tough football players should be able to handle it, or that he's really making men out of them, or something. Darcy said, "If he yelled at me like that, I think I'd start crying," and Bonnie said, "If he yelled at me like that, I'd set him on fire with my eyes."

Which she's apparently under the impression that she could do.

* * *

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Dear Diary,

I just got home from the game against Washington, which, by the way, we lost. The phrase "bad mood" doesn't begin to describe Matt's unhappiness. On the bright side, cheering went really well. During halftime, I did a perfect basket toss.

* * *

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Dear Diary,

Mom texted me after school and told me she'd be late and asked me to make dinner. She'd left cube steaks in the fridge to thaw, and there were potatoes to mash, so what could possibly go wrong?

Well, Elena's lack of culinary skills found a way to make things go wrong. Let's just say the fire alarm went off when I cooked the stakes. And let's just say that the potatoes were too salty to eat. And let's also say that Mom got home at the same time the guy arrived with the pizza.

* * *

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Dear Diary,

Today we had a test in English, and in the middle of it, my phone vibrated. It was Bonnie, from two desks behind. Miss Thomas was looking down at her desk so I snuck my phone out of my purse. She'd written, BUG N YR HAIR. I involuntarily said, "What?" and semi-freaked out. I stood up and dropped my phone and everyone was looking at me. Bonnie said, "It's just a little lady bug," and she got up from her desk to get it out.

So, the bug flew away, and Bonnie and I had to show Miss Thomas all of our texts to make sure we hadn't been "sharing answers." I told Bonnie that if that ever happens again, be specific and say LDYBUG, so I don't picture some giant fanged insect.

* * *

Friday, March 13, 2009

Dear Diary,

Matt and I drove to the Falls after school. We stood on the bridge and listened to the water. Tiny wet droplets splashed onto my skin, and it smelled nice and naturey. Then I noticed an empty soda can floating in the water. It really made me sick, so I climbed down under the bridge to get it. Matt shouted, "Elena, be careful!" just as I slipped off a rock and fell on my face. My clothes were soaked and Matt, ever the gallant knight, didn't want me to get back in his car. So I walked around in a sunbeam for a while until my clothes dried.

Happy Friday the 13th!

* * *

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Dear Diary,

Matt came over, and he was all apologetic about yesterday. He and Dad are currently in the garage, fiddling with the Camaro. Maybe guys should just admit that their cars are their true loves, and their girlfriends are more like their mistresses.

* * *

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Dear Diary,

Caroline actually called me today, to talk about the dance. She's going as Taylor Swift. She's borrowing Blake Weston's guitar, and she's going to have it strapped onto her back all night. That might make dancing a little bit difficult. I thought maybe Matt and I could be Luke and Leia, and she said, "No, those are characters, not celebrities."

She suggested Britney and K-Fed, but then we'd have to wear wigs all night, which doesn't appeal to me. So Caroline said, "I know, you be Kevin and Matt can be Britney!"

I think wigs might be easier than making Matt wear certain prosthetic body parts.

* * *

Monday, March 16, 2009

Dear Diary,

Bonnie's going to the dance with Marcus Holcomb, as friends. They're dressing as Beyonce and Jay-Z. So that just leaves Caroline without a date. I asked Matt who Tyler was taking, and it turns out Tyler's going to be out of town with his parents all weekend. So now I must help Caroline find a date, without making her feel pathetic. This is the beginning of Elena's Attempt to Help and Save Caroline Forbes.

* * *

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Dear Diary,

This morning on the way to school I told Bonnie that my mom asked me why I wasn't wearing green today, and I told her, "Because I'm not the world's biggest geek." At that second, we pulled into the parking lot to see Caroline dressed in green from head to toe, with one of those springy shamrock headbands on. Bonnie muttered, "Speaking of the world's biggest geek."

I was going to suggest to Rob Villiers that if he asked her to the dance she might say yes. But I decided to wait until tomorrow.

* * *

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Dear Diary,

It wouldn't really be fair for Caroline to have to go to the dance by herself, would it? The theme was her idea and she's made posters and hung them all over the school, and…

After cheering practice, the football players were gathering their equipment, and I suggested that she just go talk to Rob. She asked, "What would I say?" and I had to stop myself from answering, "Tell him you dropped your earring."

* * *

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Dear Diary,

I've come up with the perfect costumes for Matt and me: Prince William and Kate Middleton. I only have today and tomorrow to put it together.

I saw Rob Villiers in the hall this morning, so I asked him if he's going to the dance. He shrugged and said, "I dunno." So I told him that if he needs a date, he should ask Caroline. Then I got nervous and started talking really fast and said, "She didn't tell me to tell you that or anything, but she doesn't have a date and I just thought maybe you could ask her, and I'm sure she'd say yes if you did."

He shrugged again and said, "Well, maybe." Then I had to find Caroline and tell her that it might be a good idea if she happened to bump into him at some point today.

* * *

Friday, March 20, 2009

Dear Diary,

Genius matchmaker Elena has made things good for Caroline Forbes. Rob asked her to the dance and she accepted. He's going to dress as Joe Jonas. Caroline told him to just wear jeans and a T-shirt and a jacket over it, and she's going to some junk jewelry store to find something that could pass as a purity ring. At first he was somewhat resistant to that idea, but she told him it's supposed to be funny.

I wanted Matt to dress in an RAF uniform, but I've given up on finding one. I googled William and Kate and found some pictures of polo matches, so Matt can wear a red shirt and white pants and some of his football equipment. The most important thing for me seems to be knee-high boots over jeans (and speaking in a British accent all night).

* * *

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Dear Diary,

Caroline, Bonnie and I got to the gym yesterday to set everything up. Bonnie brought a red carpet and her dad laid it at the door to the gym. Caroline wanted to have so many photographers that all the flashes would make it hard to see, just like they do for real live celebrities. Once the tables and chairs were set up, she allowed everyone to go home to get ready.

So, I got dressed and Matt picked me up. He gave me a rose which he insisted is called an "English rose." We drove to school, and it really was kind of fun walking down the red carpet with all the cameras flashing. At the door to the gym, Hunter Flynn and James Hughes had a video camera and a microphone, and they asked us who we were. I said, "William and Kate," and James asked, "William and Kate who?" Ignorant American!

Almost every blonde girl was Lady Gaga, and almost every brunette was Katy Perry. Most of the guys just wore suits, and if you asked them who they were they said "Jay Leno" or "Barack Obama" or something.

Matt and Rob and Marcus would only dance to the slow dances, so Bonnie and Caroline and I danced a lot by ourselves. Caroline's guitar kept hitting her in the back. She couldn't take it off because she didn't have anywhere to put it to keep it safe.

After the dance, everyone drove to the Grill. We stayed until they closed, and then Matt and I drove around alone for a while. We just didn't feel like going home.

* * *

Monday, March 23, 2009

Dear Diary,

During free period today, while Caroline and I were crushing soda cans, she kept talking about Rob. "Do you think he just asked me because he didn't have anyone to go with?" and "Do you think he'll ask me out again?"

I told her that if she wants to go out with him again, she should ask him. If he wants to he'll say yes, and if he doesn't he'll say no. She said, "No, no, I couldn't do that."

No matter how bad I feel, I can always be thankful that I'm not as insecure as Caroline Forbes.

* * *

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Dear Diary,

In biology, we're talking about genes and DNA and eye color. Ms. Norman said that brown eyes dominate green and blue, and green dominates blue. That surprised everyone, because you seem to see more people with blue eyes than green eyes. I told her that my dad's eyes are blue and my mom's are brown, but mine are a much darker brown. She said, "It could be a mutation," and everyone laughed.

Now I'm going to spend the rest of the school year being called a mutant. I just know it.

* * *

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Dear Diary,

In the school library today, Bonnie, Caroline and I were neglecting our studies in order to whisper about our romantic lives (or lack thereof). Sometimes I feel like I should just say to Caroline, "Okay, you can have Matt. He's yours, if it means that much to you."

* * *

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Dear Diary,

Mom just came upstairs and said, "You know, Elena, your eyes aren't that much darker than mine."

I was like, oh yeah, we were talking about that. Then she said, "They just seem darker because your hair's darker. You have your father's hair."

Then she left the room.

* * *

Friday, March 27, 2009

Dear Diary,

I was supposed to go out with Matt tonight, but he's too sore from practice. Jeremy's friend Ethan came over, and I watched some stupid body-functions-jokes movie with them until I couldn't take it anymore and had to leave the room.

* * *

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Dear Diary,

Dad dropped me off at Matt's house on the way to work. The path to the front door was all cracked and muddy, and when I got to the door I noticed that paint was peeling off the house and the porch itself was kind of unsteady. I knocked and waited, and Matt finally came to the door. He stepped outside and closed the door behind him. This smell had already wafted out and was clinging to his clothes. I've been to enough drunken-after-game parties to recognize the odor of regurgitated alcohol. Whether it was his mom or Vicki who had caused it, I don't know.

He stood kind of far away from me and pretended to be glad that I was there. I told him that I'd just come by to see how he was, and he talked about his sore muscles for a while. Then I told him I'd be going, and he offered to drive me, but I didn't think he really wanted to. So I told him I could walk home, and I did.

* * *

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Dear Diary,

Mom said that when I see Matt tomorrow, I just shouldn't mention what happened yesterday. She said, "If he wants to talk about it, talk about it. But if he doesn't, just act normal."

I'm not sure if that would make things better, or worse. Sometimes it's weird not to talk about something you know everyone is thinking about.

* * *

Monday, March 30, 2009

Dear Diary,

I saw Matt in the hall this morning, and took Mom's advice. Then, before lunch, he met me by the cafeteria doors and asked me if I wanted to sit in his car to eat. So we walked to the parking lot and rolled down the windows and shared my lunch.

There was no one else around, and he started talking about his mom. He was getting really emotional, and tears came into his eyes. I leaned over and hugged him, pressing my face into the warmth of his neck and his shoulder. He whispered, "I love you." Then we pulled away slightly and looked into each other's eyes. Then we kissed until the bell rang.

* * *

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Dear Diary,

I told Bonnie that Matt actually said those three little words to me, and she immediately exclaimed, "Did you say it back?"

No, I didn't. And Bonnie wanted to know, "Why not?!"

Because I'm not going to say it if I don't feel it, that's why not.


	4. April (Stefan)

April 1, 2009 - Thirty-five days without blood, thirty-three days trapped in this room. They've opened the windows, and planted vervain outside, so I can't escape. The door is locked, and I can constantly hear the conversations of my captors.

* * *

April 2, 2009 - Simona came to visit me today. She carried a sprig of vervain. I sat in one corner, far from the door.

"I'm going to ask you again," she said. "Where is his body?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," I repeated.

"Did you kill him, or did you turn him into one of your kind?"

"I don't know what you're - "

"Stop lying!" she shouted. She leaned against the wall, wrapping her arms around her stomach and chest.

"Do you know what it's like?" she said. "To have a father one day, and not have him the next! To never know if he is dead, or if he is a monster?"

"I don't know what you're - "

She threw the vervain at me and left the room.

* * *

April 3, 2009 - No one has come all day. I hear them talking and moving about the villa. From time to time I hear a car arrive, or depart.

* * *

April 4, 2009 - This morning, I knew the sun had risen when I heard a key in the lock. The door to my room opened, and someone stepped inside. He placed a glass of red liquid on the floor and walked away. I tried not to drink it even as I raised the glass of cow's blood to my lips and let it flow down my throat.

* * *

April 5, 2009 - When Simona opened the door this morning, she asked if I was feeling strong. One glass of cow's milk didn't have much effect. She sat on the floor, across the room from me, and we looked at one another.

"Your father," I asked. "What was his name?"

"Antonio," she said. "Antonio Falco."

"And he was killed?"

"Presumably."

"What makes you think it was vampires?"

She looked towards the windows. "First," she said, "one neighbor disappeared. Then another, and another. And then my father. The first three bodies were found with teeth marks in the flesh. They had all been drained of blood. But my father's body was never found."

"I didn't kill him," I said. "I don't kill people."

She laughed. "That's funny."

"It's true."

Another silence passed.

"Did you have a funeral?"

"No," she said. "Why would we?"

"That might make you feel better," I said. "Help you to accept that he's gone. Projecting your anger onto me won't -"

She stood and left the room.

* * *

April 6, 2009 - When Simona came to visit me today I tried to explain that I am not responsible for or knowledgeable about every vampire-related death and disappearance. We don't have Vampire Club meetings where we discuss all of that week's killings. It's been years since I actually met another of my kind.

"I've seen vampires," she said. "I've been out at night, and I've seen what they do. They walk around together, looking for someone to kill."

"When have you seen vampires?" I asked.

"Lots of times."

I sighed. "I've never walked around with another vampire, looking for someone to kill."

"Yes, you have," she said, leaving the room. "That's what you do."

* * *

April 7, 2009 - What does Simona want? She wants to know what happened to her father. I either have to stay in this room interminably, or give her what she wants.

* * *

April 8, 2009 - I didn't see Simona today. Instead, Signora Balducci peeked into my room. I told her I wanted to speak to Simona, to tell her I would help. "Help?" she said. "What kind of help can you give?"

I told her, again, to let me see Simona. She left the room, and no one else has come.

* * *

April 9, 2009 - No one came to visit me. But I can hear them, through the walls, discussing what to do.

* * *

April 10, 2009 - Early in the morning, the door opened. Simona stood before me, holding a wooden stake.

"I don't know where your father is," I said. "I don't know what happened to him. But I might be able to help you find him."

She said nothing, and my mind panicked. I'd gotten that far, but didn't know what to say next.

"Who changed you?" she asked. "Who made you like you are?"

"Katherine," I said. "Her name was Katherine."

"When?"

"1864."

"How old were you?"

"Seventeen."

"And where is Katherine now?"

"She's dead," I said. "Burned."

"You don't expect me to believe that?"

"No," I said. "I don't expect you to."

* * *

April 11, 2009 - Simona wanted to know more about my history. I told her about Damon, and our love for Katherine. I told her about the War, and about Mystic Falls. She didn't believe me when I said that I became a vampire by mistake. While Damon willingly drank Katherine's blood, I was secretly compelled to.

"Is that how you become a monster?" she asked. "By drinking the blood of one?"

I nodded. "And then being mortally wounded, and then feeding on a human."

"How were you wounded?"

"I was shot."

"By who?"

"My father."

"And who did you feed on?"

"My father."

* * *

April 12, 2009 - I awoke this morning to find Simona sitting in my room, reading from my journal. She saw that I was awake, but continued to read, and I didn't say anything.

* * *

April 13, 2009 - I think they may trust me now. More than they did, anyway.

* * *

April 14, 2009 - When my door opened this morning, several people stood before me. Simona, Tomasso, Signora Balducci, the man they call Rossi, and the man they call Marino.

"Get up," Tomasso said. "Come with us."

I followed them out of the room and into the cold morning air, believing, without a doubt, that they were leading me to my death.

The five people surrounded me. Some of them held stakes.

"This is what will happen," Tomasso said. "You will lead us to Simona's father. Then we'll let you go."

"I don't trust you," I said.

He laughed. "We're the ones with the stakes. Trust us or not, you'll do what we say."

I was allowed to gather my things. We drove into the village.

* * *

April 15, 2009 - We're at Tomasso's house. I'm locked in a room. Tonight, we go vampire hunting.

* * *

April 16, 2009 - Last night, Simona asked, "Where do you hang out?"

"Where do I what?"

"Hang out," she said. "Or whatever you call it these days."

"I don't 'hang out' anywhere."

"Where do you meet your friends?"

"I don't have friends."

She laughed. Not a laugh of joy, but a malicious snarl. "Are you even capable of telling the truth?"

Just then, Tomasso stepped into the room. "There's a tavern on the outskirts of town," he said. "That's where they go."

I was led outside and into the car with a stake at my back. We arrived at the tavern, a small and dark place. There was no crowd; few tables were occupied. The only thing I had to offer my companions was, perhaps, a keener intuition. We sat at the table and ordered drinks.

No one spoke, and everyone looked at me. "Well?" Tomasso finally said.

"There aren't any vampires here."

"You're sure?"

"Yes," I nodded, standing up. I went back to the car, and we drove home.

* * *

April 17, 2009 - This is the plan: They will hold me prisoner. They will give me no blood. Until I give Simona what she wants.

* * *

April 18, 2009 - "How do you dress?"

Signora Balducci came into my room this morning and sat in a chair.

"How do I dress?" I repeated. "Like this."

"Not you," she said. "Them. How do they dress these days? What's the fashion?"

"They dress like everyone else."

"But what's the...the vampire fashion?"

"There is no 'vampire fashion.'" I almost let myself smile.

"When I was young, they all wore black veils. And we thought that was strange."

She eventually left the room.

* * *

April 19, 2009 - When I woke, I heard a choir singing through the window. I saw Simona sitting on the floor, and I jumped in my skin.

"You startled me," I said.

"The music startled you."

"No," I said, sitting up in bed. "I like the music."

She genuinely laughed. "No you don't," she said. "It was church music. You don't like that kind of music."

* * *

April 20, 2009 - Today I looked out the window and thought that although I am weak, I might be able to escape. So why don't I try? Because I see Simona in pain, and I genuinely want to help. It's just that it would be easier to help if I wasn't starved and held prisoner with a stake at my back.

* * *

April 21, 2009 - We are to go out again tonight. I seriously doubt there is a single vampire within miles of this village.

* * *

April 22, 2009 - Last night, as we prepared to leave, the television was on, and a news report flashed onto the screen. A body had been found in Florence, near the Uffizi Gallery. Puncture wounds were in the neck, and the body had been drained of blood.

"They struck again," Tomasso said, as everyone watched the screen.

"Well," said Marino, "we know where to go."

* * *

April 23, 2009 - We arrived in Florence early this morning, just as the sun rose. The cars were parked and we walked as a group towards Uffizi. As we neared the gallery, the crowd became more dense.

Camera crews were filming reporters describing the scene of the crime. They surmised that it may have been a wild animal or serial killer. Someone stuck a microphone into an old woman's face, and she clutched her chest and shouted that it was a vampire. I later overheard the reporter joking to his cameraman that they didn't broadcast the opinions of lunatics.

Since we were unlikely to find the vampire during the day, we found a hotel.

* * *

April 24, 2009 - It has been decided, once again, to use Simona as bait. Tonight, we will go out as a group. Simona will separate from the group, but remain within shouting distance. If a vampire should come upon her, we will rush to her rescue. She will be saved, but the vampire will be killed.

"What if it is your father?" I asked. "Do you want us to kill him?"

"If he is a vampire, yes," she said, and tears came to her eyes. "It would be better than - "

She didn't finish her sentence.

* * *

April 25, 2009 - Last night, Simona put on her red dress. We left the hotel as a group and walked towards the river.

Few people were seen. It was decided that Simona would walk alone, along the riverbank. If a hungry vampire was nearby, she would certainly look irresistible. The rest of us would stay hidden in the shadows, ready to rush to her rescue.

She did as planned. As I watched her lonely figure move through the darkness, I wanted to be by her side. Tomasso, Rossi, and Marino crowded together on one side of the alley, while Signora Balducci stood closer to me. I had to ask her to take a few steps back. The vervain she wore around her neck was making me sick.

It wasn't long before a strange figure emerged from the darkness. Simona didn't scream as it pounced upon her, but the four of us ran, leaving Signora Balducci behind. In spite of my weakness, I was soon at her side. The vampire wasn't expecting me, and I easily threw him to the ground.

Rossi kneeled onto him and held a stake to his chest. "Is this him?" he shouted to Simona.

"I can't see," she said, crying. "I don't know."

She looked down at the struggling vampire. "No," she said. "It's not my father."

Rossi stood and I grabbed the vampire, pulling him to his feet. "Antonio Falco," I said, holding a stake to his heart. "Do you know Antonio Falco?"

"Yes," he said, struggling, and I loosened my grip. "Of course. Everyone knows him."

Signora Balducci arrived, breathing heavily.

"Where would he be?"

"At his house," the vampire said. "The mansion on Via Benedetti."

Tomasso thrust his stake into the vampire's back. He and Rossi lifted the body, and dumped it into the river.

* * *

April 26, 2009 - As soon as the sun began to set, Simona, Tomasso and I walked to the mansion. "Are you going to go inside?" I asked on the way. "What are we going to do when we get there?"

She didn't answer.

When we arrived at the street, we didn't know which way to turn. "He just said 'the mansion,'" Tomasso remembered.

"Maybe you shouldn't have killed him so fast," Simona said.

We turned towards the river and walked. We eventually saw a house, bigger and grander than any other. "That's it," Simona said. "I just know."

Tomasso began to cross the street, but she held his arm. "Don't," she said. "Not yet."

We stood across the street, looking at the house. Every window was dark. No one came, and no one went. Tomasso grew impatient, but Simona seemed content.

Finally, a figure emerged from the shadows. I immediately knew it was a vampire, and one look at Simona's face told me it was her father. "Let's go," Tomasso said.

"No," she whimpered, as tears rolled down her face. "It's too much...not now..."

She ran down the street, away from the house. Tomasso and I followed.

* * *

April 27, 2009 - We spent the day in the hotel, the six of us, and I was allowed a pint of cow's blood. Whenever anyone suggested going back to the mansion, Simona cried and refused.

* * *

April 28, 2009 - I slept on the floor of Tomasso's room, and woke at dusk. I met Signora Balducci in the hall, and asked if Simona was asleep.

"No," she said. "I thought she was in your room."

I immediately ran down the steps to the hotel lobby. Simona wasn't there, nor was she in the dining room. By the time I reached the car, Tomasso was by my side. We looked at one another. We knew where she'd gone.

We drove to the mansion and parked on the street. As we left the car and ran to the door, I told him that I wouldn't be able to go inside unless I was invited. "Yes," he said, "I know."

On the front porch, we paused. "Don't knock. Let me see if..." I snuck to a window and kneeled onto the ground.

Peering through the pane of glass, I saw movements inside. Simona stood by a fireplace, and her father walked across the room. "She's there," I whispered. "Don't -"

Tomasso kicked open the door and rushed inside. I ran to the porch. I looked inside the house and saw Tomasso's body lying on the floor, his head at an unnatural angle from his broken neck. Antonio Falco stood above.

"Simona," I said, paralyzed before the threshold. "Where - "

"I'm here, Stefan." She walked into the hall. "I've always been here."

I knew from her glazed eyes and monotonous voice that she was not herself. From the corner of her mouth dripped blood.

"What did you drink?" I asked. "Was it..."

"Vampire blood?" Falco laughed. He raised one arm, and I saw a gash on his wrist. "Of course," he said. "It's a father's duty to feed his child."

I lunged towards them but could get no further, and I shouted in frustration as Falco laughed. While looking into my face, he calmly took Simona's head in both of his hands, and used his teeth to rip her throat. She fell to the floor. Falco kneeled beside the two bodies. He raised his head before sinking his teeth into Tomasso's flesh. Blood poured out, and I realized that he wasn't yet dead. Simona let out small sighs of pain. Her father pulled her to Tomasso's throat, and her mouth latched onto the wound.

* * *

April 29, 2009 - Signora Balducci, Rossi and Marino have gone. After dark, I walked to the mansion. I saw Simona at the window, and beckoned her to come outside. She rushed out, smiling and laughing. "Why didn't you tell me how wonderful it feels, Stefan? I never - "

As soon as she was near, I pulled a stake from my coat. I plunged it into her heart.

* * *

April 30, 2009 - I can't stay here, after what's happened. I've got to leave. I'm going home, to Mystic Falls.


	5. May-June (Elena)

Friday, May 1, 2009

Dear Diary,

I just got home from a date with Matt. It started at the Grill and somehow ended up at that little row of shops that we small-towners call a mall. We got ice creams and walked up and down Main Street. Sometimes I wish we could talk about something other than football and cheering, and Bonnie and Tyler and Caroline.

* * *

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Dear Diary,

Mom, Dad, and Jeremy all had things to do today, so I called Matt and he came over. I made sandwiches and we had a picnic in the backyard. After we ate, I lay down and looked up at the clouds. He lay down beside me, and this is what he blurted out: "Do you ever think about taking our relationship to the next level?"

I kept looking at the sky and didn't answer. He held my hand, and we entwined our fingers. Then I heard the car in the driveway.

* * *

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Dear Diary,

Mom signed me up for the Miss Mystic Falls pageant. She was Miss Mystic Falls back in her day, of course, and she can't comprehend the idea that I might not want to do it. She found a framed picture of herself in her gown and put it on the mantle in the living room. The empty space beside it is just waiting for a similar picture of the next generation.

* * *

Monday, May 4, 2009

Dear Diary,

On the way to school today, Matt and I talked about everything we usually talk about, and made no mention of his mention of "taking our relationship to the next level."

* * *

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Dear Diary,

I wasn't going to tell Bonnie about what Matt said, but we were talking on the phone, and I guess I couldn't help it. She advised me to be honest with him. But how can I be honest with someone else when I don't even know my own feelings?

* * *

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Dear Diary,

Mrs. Davids told us that eighth-grade cheer camp starts next week. Every Monday and Wednesday, eighth-graders who want to try out for next year are going to be bussed from Mystic Falls Middle after school. She divided us into pairs (Bonnie and I are together), and said that each pair will be in charge of a group of four girls. It's our job to train them for summer try-outs. Caroline and Darcy are together, and I heard Caroline mutter, "I hope we get the good ones."

* * *

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Dear Diary,

While Matt and I were driving home, it started raining. While Mom was making dinner, a giant clap of thunder knocked out the power. She shouted and I rushed to the kitchen in semi-darkness. She had been taking a pan out of the oven and burned her finger. When Dad got home, we ate by candlelight, and now I'm writing this by flashlight. Jeremy insists that he can't do his homework without the internet, and that his teachers will understand. Okay, the power just came back on.

* * *

Friday, May 8, 2009

Dear Diary,

When Matt picked me up this morning, the front yard was nothing but mud. On the way to school, we had to stop twice to move a tree branch out of the road. We're going out tonight, to the movies. He's picking me up in an hour, so I guess I should start getting ready.

* * *

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Dear Diary,

Bonnie and Caroline and I drove twelve miles to the actual mall to go Mother's Day shopping. On the way there and on the way home we talked about Matt. They both insist that I should have immediately said "I love you too" when he said it the first time. I don't see why anyone should do that. Two people who are in a relationship aren't going to coincidentally start loving each other at the exact same time, so if you said it for the first time right after your boyfriend, it would be obvious that you just said it because he did.

* * *

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Dear Diary,

I tried to wake Jeremy up early today, but he wouldn't get up. I made breakfast, and it turns out that I am actually capable of scrambling eggs and toasting bread. Dad woke up and went to the store and brought home a cake and a bouquet of daffodils. When Mom came downstairs, we had the table set. After we ate, we got dressed and went outside. Dad found his camera, and we took a photo. I printed a 5x7 to put in that frame I bought yesterday. It sort of looks Victorian, and says MEMORIES across the top.

* * *

Monday, May 11, 2009

Dear Diary,

Today was our first day of eighth-grade cheer camp. The four girls Bonnie and I got are named Hailey, Ashley, Hope and Piper. They're total, total newbies. Piper seemed to be under the impression that they were going to learn liberty stunts on their first day. The first things we worked on were high Vs and low Vs and lunges. Hailey seemed so insecure that she hardly spoke, and she wouldn't do anything until she'd already seen the other girls do it.

* * *

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Dear Diary,

When I got home today I went upstairs to find that my room had been totally rearranged. Mom was on her hands and knees, in the closet. I shouted, "Mom! What are you doing?" She stood up and said, "Don't yell at me like that."

Can't I have any privacy? Can't I have my room like I want it? She could have asked my permission first. Now I have to spend all night putting my stuff back where it goes.

* * *

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Dear Diary,

We had cheering camp in the gym. It was really warm and windy today, and all the outside doors were open. When it was close to four, Matt came and stood in the doorway to wait for me. When the hour was over, the eighth-graders gathered by the bus, and I saw Hailey and Hope watch Matt and me hold hands and walk to his car. There was nothing on their faces but deep, deep admiration and awe.

When I was in eighth grade, if I'd seen a high school cheerleader holding hands with her football-player boyfriend, I would have felt the same way. But it turns out that the reality is nowhere close to that wonderful.

* * *

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Dear Diary,

I am a cheerleader. I am fairly popular. I have a boyfriend. He is a football player. He is fairly popular. I have many friends and a mother and a father and a brother and Everything I Need and I make good grades. Sometimes I even think of myself as pretty. I have every element needed for a happy teen existence. So why do I feel like this?

* * *

Friday, May 15, 2009

Dear Diary,

Matt actually mentioned the subject of marriage tonight. When I didn't say anything, he actually seemed surprised and said, "Don't you think we'll do it someday?"

Do it?

"Get married."

Oh, of course. Do it.

So I said that I had never thought about it, and he said, "My parents got married a month after they graduated."

Then, without thinking, I said, "And that turned out so well."

I know I shouldn't have said it. He was really, really upset, but of course he didn't say so. He just suggested that we leave early, and we didn't speak on the way home.

* * *

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Dear Diary,

Bonnie came over today, and we mulled over the Matt subject. She thinks I should break up with him. She said it's not fair for me to keep his hopes up about our relationship when I don't have any hope myself.

* * *

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Dear Diary,

I talked to Mom about Matt (who, by the way, hasn't come over or called all weekend). Her opinion is the opposite of Bonnie's. She said I should stay with him, and "see how things work out."

* * *

Monday, May 18, 2009

Dear Diary,

This morning when I got to school, Matt was waiting by the front doors. He took my hand, and we smiled and kissed. Apparently, all is forgiven. And I don't want to lose him.

* * *

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Dear Diary,

Today at lunch, Matt had to find Vicki to tell her something, and I went outside with him into the domain of drug-users who couldn't care less about who wins the football games. They always call me and my friends stuck-up, but every person I walked past sort of sneered at me, like they're just so much cooler. One girl actually blew smoke in my face, as if that part of the pavement is their property and I wasn't allowed to be there.

* * *

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Dear Diary,

We had cheer camp today. I think Hope may actually make the squad, but I doubt the others will be good enough. Caroline was way across the gym, but I could hear her shouting at her group. She kept going, "Messy hands!" and "That's not how you were told to do it!" I actually thought one of the girls was going to cry, so I went to Mrs. Davids and asked her to tell Caroline to stop. She walked across the gym to stand closer, but she didn't actually do anything.

* * *

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Dear Diary,

Matt said that Tyler's planning a big bonfire party in the woods this Saturday, as the beginning of our end-of-the-year festivities. Everyone's going to be there. We haven't made plans for Memorial Day yet. We might have a day at the pool, but maybe we could drive to the beach.

* * *

Friday, May 22, 2009

Dear Diary,

Well, those plans are ruined. Aunt Jenna arrived late last night, and is spending the entire weekend. I told Mom that Matt and I already have plans, and she said, "Well, you're just going to have to cancel those plans."

I can't believe she really treats me like this. Things have just gotten good again between Matt and me, and she acted like she was actually glad about it. Now Aunt Jenna suddenly decides to spend the night and "family night" is more important than anything I could ever possibly want to do. Matt said I should sneak out tomorrow night, and I think I will.

* * *

Dear Diary,

Aunt Jenna brought some of my things (including my diary) to the hospital. I might be able to go home tomorrow. The funeral is Tuesday.

* * *

Dear Diary,

I'm home. Still in some pain. When Jenna and I pulled into the driveway, Bonnie was waiting on the front porch. We just hugged and didn't say anything. When I went inside, everything looked different. I was in the same hall that I've walked into every day of my life. The same staircase was there. Everything was the same, but it looked totally different.

Jeremy was watching TV. He didn't acknowledge me or say anything. Bonnie and Jenna had to help me up to my room.

* * *

May 26, 2009

Dear Diary,

This morning, when I looked in my closet, I actually started to call down the stairs, "Mom, what should I wear?" Then I remembered that I can't ask her what to wear to her funeral.

I haven't seen Jenna cry much. I know she's trying to "be strong" for Jeremy and me. But nothing she does will make anything better.

We went to the funeral home and went inside and saw the caskets. Jeremy immediately started crying and sat down in a back pew. Jenna stood beside him and rubbed his shoulder, and I walked down the aisle by myself. Dad was wearing a suit and Mom was wearing her blue dress, and pearls. They looked so normal that I thought it might be a mistake, and they might not really be dead. But then I thought about how their bodies had been filled with chemicals and their mouths had been glued shut, and I knew that wasn't possible.

We had a couple of hours to ourselves before people started to arrive. Most of the town came. Dad was our only doctor, so everyone knew him. I heard "Your parents were wonderful people" so much that it became a wordless drone.

I was standing next to Jeremy when I felt an arm go around my shoulder. I saw Uncle John and immediately stepped out of his embrace, and so did Jeremy. He had this see-how-concerned-I-am expression on his face. Then he said something like, "How are you kiddoes holding up?"

We both simultaneously said, "I'm fine, Uncle John."

When everyone was seated, both of Tyler's parents spoke. I listened to everything they said, but now I don't remember a single word. Then we played Mom's favorite Sarah McLachlan song. And then it was over. Everyone walked down the aisle, past Jenna and Jeremy and John and me, and outside. The pallbearers were standing in the doorway. Some man cameo out of a back room and closed the lid of Dad's casket. Then he walked to Mom's, and without even meaning to, I said, "No, don't!" He nodded and stepped out of the way. I was crying uncontrollably by then. I just kept thinking that if I could always see her face, she would never be gone. Jenna was crying too, and she put her arms around me and said, "Come on, Elena, it's okay." We walked to the casket. I looked at Mom's face one last time. Then Jenna and I both closed the lid.

* * *

May 27, 2009

Dear Diary,

I don't think I need to take the remainder of my pills. I can stand and walk fine, it just hurts a little when I bend over or sit.

Uncle John came over this afternoon, before he left. He didn't stay long. He and Jenna tried to be civil to each other. For the kids' sake, of course.

* * *

May 28, 2009

Dear Diary,

Jenna asked us what we wanted the tombstone to say. Jeremy said, "Just put their names on it. Everyone who knew them knew them, and people who didn't know them won't read it anyway."

I want it to say something else. I want strangers to walk past and know that they had two kids who they loved.

* * *

May 29, 2009

Dear Diary,

Today I realized that the word orphan means me.

* * *

May 30, 2009

Dear Diary,

I keep hearing Jeremy crying in his room. When I knock on the door and call his name, the crying stops, but he doesn't say anything.

* * *

May 31, 2009

Dear Diary,

Today we went to the cemetery to see the tombstone. Daffodil blossoms are carved into each corner. It says "Grayson Gilbert" and "Miranda Sommers Gilbert," and under that, "Loving Parents."

* * *

Monday, June 1, 2009

Dear Diary,

Jeremy and I went back to school today. We're exempt from all of last week's homework, and Mr. Tanner was actually being semi-nice to me. Caroline saw me in the hall and said, "Elena, I feel so sorry for you! Are you okay?"

Yes, Caroline, I'm fairly okay.

Then she said, "Are you sure? I feel so bad for you."

Yes, I'm sure. She was almost acting like it was my job to make her feel better. Everyone else (except Bonnie) acted like nothing had happened. Maybe they just didn't know what to say. I'm not sure I'd know what to say if it had happened to someone else.

I was really sore by the end of the day, and I couldn't do cheer camp. Jenna drove us home.

* * *

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Dear Diary,

Today at lunch, Caroline blurted out, "Who are you going to live with from now on?"

I had honestly not thought of that until she said it. Bonnie looked at her like, "You really shouldn't have said that." When I got home, I waited until Jeremy was in front of the television and I asked Jenna about it. She said that Mom and Dad had a will, and they stipulated that if anything ever happened to them, they wanted her to raise us. So does that mean we're going to go live with her, or she's going to move in here? She said, "I have a studio apartment, Elena, what do you think?"

I started talking really fast and asking her about money and how she could afford to keep our house and where she would work and everything. She put her hands on my shoulders and said, "Calm down. Your parents had life insurance. I can find a job here. It's okay."

If only it really was okay.

* * *

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Dear Diary,

Today I had three finals, none of which I had studied for. I'm stuck somewhere between hoping I did okay and not caring in the least.

* * *

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Dear Diary,

Today was the last day of school, and we had our last three finals. There was a big party at The Grill, and Matt asked me if I wanted to go. I texted Jenna, and she seemed surprised that I would even ask her if it was okay.

Matt and I hardly spoke on the way. The Grill was so crowded that we had to eat standing up. After a while, everyone started to leave to go to Tyler's house. Matt just assumed that I wanted to go. But I didn't tell him I didn't want to go, so we went.

* * *

Friday, June 5, 2009

Dear Diary,

I woke up late today. I stretched and walked through my door and into the hall. I saw Aunt Jenna's purse on the table. Then I remembered that my parents were dead.

* * *

Saturday, June 6, 2009

Dear Diary,

For some reason, Jeremy isn't repulsive to me anymore.

* * *

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Dear Diary,

Matt came over this afternoon to ask me if I wanted to go to the pool. I don't know why, but I felt like I had some reason not to go. I was actually standing in the doorway trying to come up with some excuse, but then I realized that there was no reason in the world not to go. Matt hung out with Jeremy for a while while I found my swimsuit and everything. When we left, Jenna called out the door, "Have fun!"

Maybe that was the reason I didn't want to go. Because I didn't want Jenna to be the one to say that.

* * *

Monday, June 8, 2009

Dear Diary,

Mom's grey sweater smells like her perfume. I slept with it in my arms, and I dreamed about her all night.

* * *

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Dear Diary,

Jenna has to leave us for a while to quit her job and move out of her apartment. She keeps saying, "Are you sure you're going to be okay?"

Yes, Aunt Jenna. Yes, I'll keep an eye on Jeremy and, yes, I'll only use the microwave.

* * *

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Dear Diary,

Matt and Bonnie are both going to be working as lifeguards for the summer. When Matt told me, I was actually glad that most of his time is going to be occupied, and I don't have to see him as much.

* * *

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Dear Diary,

It's so weird to be alone in the house with Jeremy and no one else. It seems like Mom and Dad just went somewhere, and they'll be home later.

While I was watching TV, I realized that the house was messy. It really never occurs to me to clean on my own. I either wait for Mom to do it, or wait until she tells me to do it.

So, I started picking things up. Jeremy came downstairs while I was throwing away a newspaper, and he shouted, "Don't throw that away."

I said, "It's just the paper," and he grabbed it and said, "Dad was in the middle of reading it. Are you going to throw all his stuff away?"

I just started crying. Then I went up to Mom and Dad's room and lay on the bed, in the dark.

* * *

Friday, June 12, 2009

Dear Diary,

Bonnie and Matt had to work today, and Jeremy went somewhere with Ethan. I'm currently sitting in the cemetery, writing in my diary. I remember how you wanted to be a writer, Mom, and you gave me my first diary for my tenth birthday. I'll always keep a diary from now on, and when I have a daughter of my own, I'll give her one for her tenth birthday.

* * *

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Dear Diary,

Bonnie, Matt, Caroline and Ethan came over yesterday and stayed late. I really intended to get up early this morning, before Jenna got here, to clean the house and make breakfast. But I woke up at like eleven in the morning, and Jenna was downstairs vacuuming the living room rug.

* * *

Monday, June 15, 2009

Dear Diary,

Today was the first day of summer cheer camp. I couldn't do much, but I think it's more because I'm out of practice than because of the accident. Just as I predicted, Hope made the team, but so did Piper.

The first time I shouted, "Ready, okay!" which is something I've shouted countless times with happy-cheerleader enthusiasm, I felt really strange. It's like it just doesn't mean anything to me anymore.

* * *

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Dear Diary,

Since Jeremy had been sitting in front of the TV for about five straight hours today, I suggested he get his sketchpad and go outside for a while. He just mumbled something and didn't look away from the screen.

* * *

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Dear Diary,

Today at cheer camp I asked Mrs. Davids who would take my place if I quit the team. Her mouth literally dropped open and she said, "Elena, I know you feel bad right now, but quitting the team is exactly what you shouldn't do. That will just make you feel worse."

Maybe her intentions were good, but why do people always say that? They say to just go on with life as if nothing has happened. I need to mourn my parents, and cheering just isn't that important to me anymore.

* * *

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Dear Diary,

Today Jenna mentioned that the insurance company is going to pay for us to buy a new car, and she asked Jeremy and me what kind we wanted. Jeremy muttered, "I don't know," and I just didn't say anything.

* * *

Friday, June 19, 2009

Dear Diary,

Tonight I went out with Matt, and I asked him what he thought about me quitting the team. He said, "Quit? Why?"

I couldn't really explain it to him. I just can't do it anymore. I talked to Bonnie about it, and she said, "Well, I'll miss you."

* * *

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Dear Diary,

Here I am, in the cemetery again. Tomorrow's Father's Day, and the next day's my birthday. I had totally forgotten about it until Jenna asked me what I wanted to do. My first thought was to say, "Nothing," but I don't know. I certainly don't want to have a big party.

* * *

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Dear Diary,

This morning I woke up and couldn't find Jeremy. He was neither inside nor outside, and he'd left his phone in his room. Aunt Jenna said not to worry, but when it started getting dark, I called all his friends. No one had heard from him all day. Aunt Jenna drove down Main Street, but didn't find him, and I had the brilliant idea of walking to the cemetery to see if he was there. He wasn't. He finally came home at about eleven. I caught up to him on the staircase and asked him where he'd been, and he shouted, "Why do you care? Did you really expect me to stay home all day? Is today a holiday?"

Jenna said that he's home and safe, so we should just leave him alone.

* * *

Monday, June 22, 2009

Dear Diary,

Well, I'm seventeen. Jenna gave me a necklace and a set of Jane Austen books. ("She was my favorite author when I was your age.") Jeremy didn't get me anything, but I didn't expect him to and I don't mind. Jenna bought a cake, and I figured out what I wanted to do today. I wanted to have a party with Mom and Dad. So we packed a cake-picnic and went to eat in the cemetery. Jeremy was in a fairly good mood (compared to yesterday). We sat on the ground, and it was the first time since the accident that we talked about happy memories, and smiled and laughed while talking about Mom and Dad.

When we got home, I found gifts from Matt and Bonnie on the front porch. Bonnie got me a new diary (I had told her that this one's almost full). Matt got me a pair of earrings and he actually wrote a poem. It was really bad, but it's the thought that counts.

* * *

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Dear Diary,

Jenna's employed, yay. And the new car arrived in the driveway today. I'm just trying to put it out of my mind.

* * *

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Dear Diary,

Mrs. Davids emailed me and asked why I haven't been coming to cheer camp. I thought I already told her why.

* * *

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Dear Diary,

No one felt like cooking tonight, so we ate at The Grill. Jeremy got up to go to the bathroom and didn't come back, so I got up to find him and saw him at the bar, talking to Vicki Donovan. When he finally came back to the table, I asked him why he was talking to a drug addict. His response was, "Not everyone who uses drugs is an addict, Elena."

Like that's supposed to change my mind?

* * *

Friday, June 26, 2009

Dear Diary,

Matt picked me up and we drove to the movie theater. He has that old junky car, and when I tried to open my door, it stuck. I immediately panicked. I was screaming and pounding at the window, and then Matt went around and opened the door. He was saying, "God, what's wrong? The door just sticks sometimes."

I leaned onto the roof of the car. I wanted to scream. But then everyone in the parking lot would think I was being attacked or something. I but my sleeve and held the fabric in my mouth and bit down as hard as I could. I told Matt I just wanted to go home. He said, "Elena, just calm down."

I couldn't stand to get back in the car. So I told him I was walking home. He said, "You can't walk from here."

I started walking and crossed the street and he followed me. We didn't say anything for a really long time. When we were about a block from home, I stopped walking and stood on the sidewalk. He said, "What's the matter?" and pulled me close to him.

Then it all just came out. I shouldn't have snuck out of the house that night. If I'd stayed home like I was supposed to my parents would be alive. I wouldn't have called them to pick me up from a party that I shouldn't have gone to in the first place. The car wouldn't have gone over the bridge.

I pushed him away and walked home, and he followed me. I stood on the porch because I didn't want to go inside. I kept saying, "Why did I survive? I don't remember anything. How did I get out of the car?"

We sat down and he wrapped his arms around me and kept saying, "Shh, it's okay."

But it's not okay. And everyone at the hospital called it a miracle. Two people dying is not a miracle. I killed my parents and now I have to live in hell.

* * *

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Dear Diary,

I haven't even looked at my phone all day. This method Jeremy has of spending eight straight hours in front of the TV really has something to say for it.

* * *

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Dear Diary,

Matt came over this afternoon. We stood on the front porch, and neither of us knew what to say. Finally, I just said, "I want us to end our relationship."

Another long moment of silence. Then he said, "Why?"

I told him that I need some time alone. After what's happened, I can't pretend anymore. I can't pretend to be the happy high school cheerleader with a perfect boyfriend.

He said, "So have you just been pretending this whole time?"

I kind of have. But not exactly. It's more like I've been hoping certain things will bring me happiness, but now I guess I've given up hope.

He walked down the porch steps and said, "So you quit cheering, and you're breaking up with me. You're just giving up on life, Elena."

He walked to his car, and opened the door. He shouted, "This isn't what your parents would have wanted."

The he drove away.

* * *

Monday, June 29, 2009

Dear Diary,

Bonnie thinks I did the right thing. At least I was honest with him. I have honesty on my side.

* * *

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Dear Diary,

I'm at the cemetery. Last night I filled my old diary. This morning I read some old entries from before the world died. I was such a different person then. If only I'd known.


	6. July (Stefan)

July 1, 2009 - She is able to walk in sunlight, though she wears no ring. This morning I waited near her house and followed her to a grocery store and back. She either didn't sense me or didn't let it show.

* * *

July 2, 2009 - She walked to the cemetery again today. She sits at the same grave, writing in what seems to be a journal. When she left, I looked at the grave. Grayson and Miranda Gilbert died on May 23. Presumably, they were the other two people in the car, the people I couldn't rescue in time. I also presume that Grayson was Johnathan Gilbert's descendant, and therefore a member of the Town Council. Why Katherine was with them that night, and why she would visit their graves, I don't know.

* * *

July 3, 2009 - The house where she stays is on Maple Street. A woman leaves each morning and returns in the afternoon. A teenage boy also seems to live there permanently. In addition to that, I've seen several other people come and go, mostly young, and all human. Is Katherine compelling them? What do they do for her? Do they know what she is, or is she concealing her true nature?

* * *

July 4, 2009 - I'd almost forgotten how much Americans like their fireworks.

* * *

July 5, 2009 - Zach is wary of me, as if he thinks I might rip out his throat at any moment. He tolerates my presence in his home, but reminds me daily that the basement is full of vervain, and that with one phone call he could inform the Town Council of my presence.

* * *

July 6, 2009 - I followed Katherine down to Main Street, where she met two other girls. They went into a few shops and ended their day at the ice cream parlor. Anyone seeing her would think she was a normal teenager, laughing with her friends.

* * *

July 7, 2009 - Today I had the brilliant idea to go to Fell's Church. As I walked through the woods, I smelled smoke and heard screaming. The screaming was obviously only a memory, but the scent of burning debris still lingers in the air, as if the trees themselves have been breathing it in and out for over a century.

Nothing remains of the church but the ruins of a crumbling wall. From the ground grow grass and brambles. How Katherine escaped from her underground tomb remains a mystery.

* * *

July 8, 2009 - I was peacefully reading a book when Zach cornered me and demanded to know where Damon lives. I haven't seen my brother in fifteen years. I don't know where he is. Zach has convinced himself that my arrival in Mystic Falls means that Damon will soon arrive too, and bad things will begin.

* * *

July 9, 2009 - Tonight I followed Katherine and the other two girls to the theater. The Katherine I knew didn't go to the movies. I waited on the corner until they exited. As she walked down the street, she sipped from a plastic straw in a paper cup. At the corner, she pushed the button at the crosswalk, and then complained that the light didn't change. The blonde girl said, "You have to push it harder," and Katherine said, "I can't push it harder."

She must be purposely concealing her strength. But why?

* * *

July 10, 2009 - This morning, I followed the woman who lives with Katherine. She drove to a row of brick bungalow-style office buildings, and was inside for eight hours. She appears to be a normal human with a normal job. Why would she live with a vampire?

* * *

July 11, 2009 - Katherine didn't leave the house all day. As the sun set, the teenage boy left, and I followed him to Main Street. He met a group of kids his age, and they walked up and down the street and went in and out of restaurants until midnight. For a while, I listened to their conversation. I heard his name - Jeremy - and heard him mention his sister. That must be the older woman.

* * *

July 12, 2009 - When Zach woke up I heard a shout from the kitchen. I'd left a carton of cow's blood in the refrigerator, and when I walked into the room I saw him dumping it into the trash. He said he can't bear the sight of it next to his food. Maybe I should get a mini-fridge and keep it in my room.

* * *

July 13, 2009 - So many things don't make sense. Why does she go out almost every day, but rarely at night? Why does she eat food? Why have her mannerisms changed? She was always so determined, knowing exactly what she wanted and how to get it. When I knew her, she would never have walked up and down the street, window-shopping. She would have seen something and taken it. She wouldn't have asked anyone, "What do you want to do tomorrow?" She would have said, "Do this."

* * *

July 14, 2009 - Today, as I lurked on Maple Street, I saw Katherine leave the house. Then the woman opened the door and called, "Elaina!" Katherine turned and went to her.

Possibilities:

She changed her name.

She doesn't want the woman she lives with to know her real name.

She's not Katherine.

* * *

July 15, 2009 - She returned to the cemetery again today, and spent an hour in front of the Gilbert graves.

* * *

July 16, 2009 - I asked Zach if I could use his computer, and he asked, "What for?"

Secret vampire stuff, of course. He stood over my shoulder while I typed "Grayson Miranda Gilbert." An article from the local paper popped onto the screen, and I clicked on the link.

"They were Council members," Zach said. "What do you want to know about them?"

"I'm just wondering who they were."

Grayson and Miranda Gilbert, of 2104 Maple Street, died on May 23, when their car drove over Wickery Bridge and into the water beneath. Grayson was the town doctor. Their 16-year-old daughter, Elena, was found alive. The couple also had a son who was not with them at the time.

* * *

July 17, 2009 - Could she really not be Katherine? Could she really be a normal human girl named Elena Gilbert? Has she lived her life in Mystic Falls, and does she even know that vampires exist?

* * *

July 18, 2009 - In town today, I saw the blonde girl whom I've often seen at the Gilbert house. As she walked down the sidewalk carrying a shopping bag, I touched her shoulder.

"Do you know Elena Gilbert?" I asked, as she turned around.

"Elena?" she said. "Yeah, do you know her?"

"Yes," I said.

"How do you know her?" she asked. "You don't go to Mystic Falls High."

"I know her family."

"Oh," said the girl. "It's awful what happened to her parents, isn't it?"

"Yes," I said. "Have you lived here your whole life?"

She nodded.

"And you've known Elena since -"

"Ever since kindergarten."

"And she was a child then?"

"Yeah," she said, laughing, "it was kindergarten."

I looked deeply into her eyes. "You never saw me."

"I never saw you."

"We never had this conversation."

"We never had this conversation."

I turned around and left.

* * *

July 19, 2009 - As soon as Zach left for work, I turned on his computer and searched "Elena Gilbert Mystic Falls High School." The school's website gave me much information. She's a cheerleader and an honor student. There have also been articles about her achievements in the local paper, where I found several photos of her cheerleading team. I clicked on a black-and-white picture to enlarge it. She doesn't just resemble Katherine. She could be her twin.

* * *

July 20, 2009 - Today, I returned to Fell's Church. I kneeled onto the ground and pressed my hands into the soil. I feel confident that the grass and brambles haven't been disturbed for over a century.

* * *

July 21, 2009 - I sat at the computer from the moment Zach left in the morning until the moment he got home. It's unbelievable to me how much personal information is now put out in public for the world to see. The original founders would be happy to know that their descendants are still running Mystic Falls. The mayor is a Lockwood, and the sheriff is a Forbes.

I also found out that the cheerleaders have practice tomorrow afternoon, in the high school's eastern field.

* * *

July 22, 2009 - I drove to the school and parked at the top of the hill. I watched the cheerleaders for a while, but Elena Gilbert was nowhere in sight.

* * *

July 23, 2009 - After dark, I walked to Maple Street. As I climbed the steps to the porch, I asked myself what I was doing and why I was doing it. I paused at the front door. Did I expect to knock, and, when someone answered, introduce myself as their friendly neighborhood vampire?

I pressed my body against the door. I heard Elena, and she referred to the woman as Aunt Jenna. They didn't know where Jeremy was, and spoke in worried voices. I left, and they never knew I was there.

* * *

July 24, 2009 - She went to the cemetery. Jeremy stood on the sidewalk, and I watched him watch her.

* * *

July 25, 2009 - After dark, I walked toward the Gilbert house. When I reached Maple Street, I realized that my intention was to lurk in the shadows, spying in the windows - and that this is becoming a pattern. I have to know her. But as a vampire, how can I?

* * *

July 26, 2009 - What if I wasn't a vampire? What if I was a 17-year-old human, living in the year 2009? What would I do to gain the attention and affections of Elena Gilbert?

Today, it's taken for granted that teenagers' social lives are centered around school. When I was human, we weren't even called "teenagers." We didn't "go out," and we didn't have "dates." If you fancied a girl, you asked a mutual acquaintance to introduce you. If she agreed to dance or even to converse, it meant that she might like to marry you. Marriage was the point, but today they have "boyfriends" and "girlfriends," and it's just for fun.

* * *

July 27, 2009 - I told Zach about my plan, and this was his response: "You're not really going to try to pass yourself off as a high school student?"

Well, why not? Physically, I'm still 17. I'm strangely pale and I live on blood, but I'm still 17.

"You'd have to change your name," he said. "No one is called Stefan in the 21st Century."

No one was called Stefan in the 19th Century either.

* * *

July 28, 2009 - This is my story:

I'm Stefan Salvatore, high school student. Both of my parents have died. I spent my early childhood in Mystic Falls, but then moved away. Now I've returned, and I live with Zach, who I'll say is my uncle. And, yes, I'm a Salvatore. I'm named after my great-great...I don't know how many greats...grandfather. If anyone asks where I've lived, I'll tell the truth: Italy. If anyone asks about brothers and sisters, I'll tell the truth: I have a brother, but he's not part of my life.

* * *

July 29, 2009 - Zach has informed me that I can't simply walk in the doors on the first day of school and sit down in a classroom. Paperwork is required: school records, a birth certificate. I looked deep into his eyes. "I'll figure all that out."

He repeated, "You'll figure all that out."

I looked away, and he returned to normal, shouting, "Did you just compel me? Don't ever do that again."

* * *

July 30, 2009 - School begins in September.

* * *

July 31, 2009 - I watched Elena at the cemetery today. She sat before her parents' graves. She wrote in her diary, and she cried.


	7. August (Elena)

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Dear Diary,

It's Saturday, it's noon, and we don't know where Jeremy is. He left last night and hasn't come home. He's not answering his phone.

* * *

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Dear Diary,

When Jeremy came home late last night (very late last night), I was waiting on the stairs. Aunt Jenna was in her room, actually able to sleep while he was missing. I wouldn't let him past until he told me where he'd been. Yes, I raised my voice and woke up Jenna. Jeremy went to his room and slammed the door.

* * *

Monday, August 3, 2009

Dear Diary,

I'm actually afraid to leave the house, because I know he won't be here when I get home. Not only am I afraid to leave, but I'm constantly listening for the sound of the front or back door opening and closing.

* * *

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Dear Diary,

Jenna keeps saying, "This is normal teenage behavior, Elena."

But it isn't normal teenage behavior. Both of our parents died. Nothing is normal anymore. And I'm so afraid that what Jeremy does now, and how we deal with it, is going to affect the rest of his life.

* * *

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Dear Diary,

Bonnie came over today, smelling like chlorine. She noticed how worried and distracted I was. We heard Jeremy wake up, and she said, "Let me talk to him."

So she went upstairs and came back about ten minutes later. He wouldn't really talk to her; he just kept muttering that everything was okay. She said that he probably needs to see a therapist. Well, good luck getting him to go.

* * *

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Dear Diary,

When Jenna came home I ran the idea of finding a therapist past her. She said, "Well, I'll see if I can find one."

So does that mean she's going to do it, or not? I'm so sick of her saying, "Well, I'll see," and then brushing everything off like it's no big deal.

* * *

Friday, August 7, 2009

Dear Diary,

Jeremy was in a (relatively) good mood today. So I told him that I thought we could agree on at least one thing: that he always has his phone with him and when I call him, he answers. He said, "Okay." Hopefully, that means he's going to. If not, I'm not going to let him out of the house at night, if I have to barricade the doors.

* * *

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Dear Diary,

Bonnie and I went to the Grill. After we ate, we walked down the street and saw Jeremy and Ethan and a couple of other guys standing on the curb. As we got closer, he stepped back into the shadows. Then a police car stopped and Sheriff Forbes got out. She went up to Jeremy, so I ran down the sidewalk to see what was going on, and there Jeremy stood with an open beer in his hand. Caroline's mom was all sarcastic and said, "I assume you have your I.D. with you?"

I said, "Please, Mrs. Forbes," making sure to call her "Mrs. Forbes" to emphasize the fact that we know each other and her daughter's my friend. I reminded her that our parents just died, and kept repeating that I wouldn't let him do it again. I told her that Jenna was finding a therapist for him, and I really wouldn't let him do it again. So she took the beer away from him and said, "This time, I'll let you go." Then she looked around at his friends and said, "Only this time."

I kept repeating, "Thank you, Mrs. Forbes," and she left. Then Jeremy just walked off, and Bonnie and I drove home.

* * *

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Dear Diary,

I told Jenna about what happened, and about me telling Caroline's mom that we were looking for a therapist. Now I think Jenna might actually look for a therapist. Jeremy came into the room while we were talking and said, "You're just as screwed up as I am, Elena."

It's like he thinks I'm insulting him, or something. I'm actually trying to help.

* * *

Monday, August 10, 2009

Dear Diary,

I woke up this morning and saw a robin on my windowsill, and I felt positive. I walked down the hall and saw Jeremy asleep in his bed, and felt even better.

* * *

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Dear Diary,

Jenna found an adolescent psychologist and set up an appointment. When we told Jeremy about it, he said, "I don't need a shrink."

Yeah, you do. The only way we talked him into going was by telling him that he would only have to go one time, and if he doesn't want to, he won't have to go back.

* * *

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Dear Diary,

I turned on the TV and heard Jenna's voice, from the kitchen, go, "Oh God, turn it off."

I asked why. Nothing was on but the local news, and all they were talking about was potholes being fixed or something like that.

"Logan Fell, Logan Fell!" She was actually covering her eyes with her hands. Then she said, "Didn't you know that we used to go out?"

Really? My very own aunt went out with a local news anchor. I can't believe it. So I asked her why they broke up, and she said, "He's a cheater."

* * *

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Dear Diary,

Jenna took the day off to drive Jeremy to his first (and most likely last) therapy session. I was so nervous the whole time they were gone that all I could do was obsessively-compulsively update my Facebook page. When they finally came home, I asked him how it went. All he said was, "That guy's a dick."

* * *

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Dear Diary,

Jeremy went out last night, and Bonnie came over. I tried calling him three times but he never answered. When he came home in the middle of the night (early, for him), he said that he turned off his phone at the movies and forgot to turn it back on.

* * *

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Dear Diary,

Jeremy and Jenna and I actually sat down and had dinner in the dining room tonight. I wanted to talk about some things, and my little brother explained to me that the reason why I'm "obsessing over" everything he does is because it's my way of neglecting my own problems. Just one therapy session, and all of a sudden he's Dr. Phil.

* * *

Monday, August 17, 2009

Dear Diary,

I spent the day wondering if there might be some truth in what Jeremy said. Jenna keeps talking about how she wouldn't be ready to parent an infant if she had one, and now she suddenly has to parent two teenagers, while also dealing with losing her sister and moving away from her job and her friends. I kind of feel like when my parents died, I immediately stopped being Jeremy's sister and became his mother/father. And I don't know how to be either. Maybe I'm doing it all wrong.

* * *

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Dear Diary,

Bonnie didn't have to work today, so we spent the day driving to the mall to buy clothes for school. We ate lunch and shopped and talked.

* * *

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Dear Diary,

Jeremy went to the pool, and I almost started to go with him, but I realized that I didn't want to see Matt. So I walked to the cemetery to write in my diary. I don't think I've ever felt more sad, or more alone, than I do right now.

* * *

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Dear Diary,

Jeremy didn't come home last night, and he didn't answer his phone. At some point, I stopped waiting and fell asleep. I woke up early and he wasn't here. Jenna had to leave for work. I was in the backyard, lying on a towel reading Pride and Prejudice, when I heard a car in the driveway. I walked around the house and saw Matt.

He saw me but he didn't say anything. He walked around the car and opened the door. I walked down the driveway and saw Jeremy, passed out in the backseat.

I asked, "Where did you find him?" and Matt said, "At my house. In Vicki's room," as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Between the two of us, we were able to lift him out of the car and get him inside and onto the couch. Then I asked Matt why he was in Vicki's room, and he said, "You didn't know they were going out?"

I still don't know if I believe it. Then Matt had to add, "Yeah, they're sleeping together."

Okay, that's nice. Before he left, I asked him if Vicki really was into drugs, like everyone says, and his reply was, "I don't even know everything she does."

* * *

Friday, August 21, 2009

Dear Diary,

Jeremy's currently in his room, just him and his hangover. When Jenna came home yesterday and saw him on the couch, she didn't seem particularly upset. I told her about Vicki Donovan, and she said, "Kelly's daughter?"

The one and only. So Jenna said that Kelly used to be her babysitter, and she was sure I was worrying for nothing. Then, in hilarious detail, she told me about how Kelly introduced her to the fine art of smoking pot under the bleachers. How silly of me to worry.

* * *

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Dear Diary,

At about noon today, Jeremy came downstairs and poured himself a bowl of cereal. So I sat down next to him and told him that we needed to talk. Jenna was outside working on Mom's flower beds.

I told him I knew about him and Vicki, and asked him why he had been keeping their relationship a secret. He said, "Because we don't have a 'relationship,' we just see each other, and it's none of your business anyway."

If he's going to be coming home passed out in someone's car, it is my business. I couldn't bring myself to mention Matt's revelation about them sleeping together, and I guess maybe that part of the story really isn't my business.

So I tried to explain to him that this is how people become addicts. Something bad happens in their life, and instead of dealing with it, they find a way to mask the pain. I asked him if he would at least tell me what kind of drugs Vicki does, and he said, "I don't know, some kind of pills."

I asked him to promise me that he wouldn't do drugs with her. Alcohol is one thing, but putting some illegal substance inside your body that you don't even know the name of is another. He said he wouldn't, but can I trust him? I wish Mom and Dad were here.

* * *

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Dear Diary,

Caroline left to spend a couple of weeks at her dad's house. I talked to Bonnie today, and suggested we go to the pool, but she didn't want to, seeing as she works there. So we just hung out at her house. We were watching TV, and when a promo for the news came on, I said, "My aunt used to go out with him."

Bonnie said, "With Logan Fell, really?"

Mm-hmm. And he was a cheater.

* * *

Monday, August 24, 2009

Dear Diary,

Bonnie thinks I need a new boyfriend. She claims I was happier when I was going out with Matt. But the last thing I'd want to do now is go out with someone just to be going out with someone. I don't want a boyfriend unless I really like him and want to be with him.

* * *

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Dear Diary,

I'm at the cemetery. When I walked inside, I had this really weird feeling that someone was watching me. I looked around, and no one was there.

* * *

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Dear Diary,

This morning, while Jeremy was watching TV, I noticed the state of his room. I started picking things up, and found four hundred-dollar bills in a drawer. So I ran downstairs with it and showed it to him and said, "You're not actually selling drugs!"

He denied it at first, but I asked him where the money came from, and he admitted that Vicki's dealer had given him some pills that he had decided to sell to Vicki's druggie friends. So I told him that if he gets caught, actually selling drugs is kind of a big deal. It's not like being caught with a beer. He's actually going to go to prison. He just kept telling me to leave him alone.

* * *

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Dear Diary,

When Jenna came home last night, I showed her the four hundred dollars, which is now sitting on a shelf in the kitchen. She went upstairs to talk to him, but I doubt she did any good. I kept asking her what we should do and what we were going to do with the money, and she kept saying she didn't know.

* * *

Friday, August 28, 2009

Dear Diary,

I went to the park today, to go jogging and clear my mind, and when I got home, Jeremy was gone, and so was the four hundred dollars. He's not answering his phone. It's now 4:56, and Jenna should be home soon. I'm going to call Bonnie. Maybe between the three of us, we can figure out what to do.

* * *

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Dear Diary,

Well, he came home last night, and appeared to be sober. Bonnie said that the first thing to do is to keep him from seeing Vicki, or anyone else who uses or deals drugs. Jenna, ever the optimist, said, "Good luck in keeping a teenage boy away from an older girl who's willing to screw him."

Yeah, I happened to mention that.

* * *

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Dear Diary,

When Jeremy woke up today, I tried to talk to him. He just kept telling me to leave him alone and worry about my own problems. I asked him what he did with the money, and he wouldn't tell me.

* * *

Monday, August 31, 2009

Dear Diary,

Less than two weeks left of summer. I'm really worried about what's going to happen when school starts. I've got exactly ten days to solve all my problems.

* * *

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Dear Diary,

I decided to confront Vicki. So I went to The Grill, and saw her at the bar and said, "We need to talk."

She was just totally dismissive and said, "Elena, is it? I'm working."

So I went out to the parking lot and stood by the car for two hours until The Grill closed and she came outside. I walked to her, while she was digging in her purse for her keys, and she said, "What do you want?"

So I said, "I want to know what you've been doing with Jeremy."

She just kept walking, so I blurted out, "What kind of pills do you take?"

She laughed and said, "Whatever Jeremy gets for me."

"Well, where's he getting them?"

She was at her car, and said, "I don't know, some guy."

"You have to know," I said. She slammed the car door and started the motor. Her window was open, so I asked, "Is that why you're sleeping with him? Are you prostituting yourself for drugs?"

I seriously thought she was going to run me over right then. But she just peeled out of the parking lot, her tires screeching, and sped down the street.

* * *

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Dear Diary,

So, all along I'd thought that Jeremy met Vicki, they started going out, and she introduced him to her dealer and all her stoner friends. But it turns out he met the town drug-supplier first, whoever he may be, and through him started dealing and that led to going out with Vicki. Who, by the way, would not have anything to do with him if it weren't for the drugs, and therefore is a prostitute.

* * *

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Dear Diary,

This afternoon I was in the kitchen when Jeremy came home, shouting my name. I ran into the hall and he said, "Did you say something to Vicki?"

I didn't say what I wanted to say to her, which is to stay away from my brother. So he kept shouting, "I hate you!" and "Stay out of my life!" and then he ran upstairs and slammed the door.

* * *

Friday, September 4, 2009

Dear Diary,

I'm at the cemetery. Jeremy's not speaking to me. Jenna's no help, and Bonnie just keeps saying she doesn't know what to do.

* * *

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Dear Diary,

I've been informed by Bonnie that Caroline's back. I really don't want to see her, and I don't care if we hang out at school or not.

* * *

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Dear Diary,

Great news: Vicki dumped Jeremy (and it's "all your fault, Elena!")!

* * *

Monday, September 7, 2009

Dear Diary,

Bonnie called me and told me about a party Tyler's having tonight. "I wasn't sure if you'd want to go, because..."

Because we have to drive over Wickery Bridge to get there. I told her that I'm fine with it. I can't live in terror for the rest of my life. So, tonight represents the transition from sad Elena to...well, hopeful Elena, anyway. I'm going to ask Jeremy if he wants to come.

* * *

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Dear Diary,

Bonnie picked Jeremy and me up last night, and we drove to the party. When we crossed the bridge, no one said anything. As we drove further into the woods, we saw a bonfire and quite a few cars. We parked and got out, and Jeremy immediately disappeared.

A radio played, and some people danced. I didn't see Caroline, or Matt (strangely enough). Brody Schultz was sort of semi-flirting with me, but his breath smelled like beer so I doubt he really meant it. After a while, another carful of people arrived, and I heard someone say, "There's some crazy guy on the bridge. I think he's going to jump off."

I immediately looked around for Jeremy but didn't see him. So I found Bonnie and asked her if she knew where he was, and she shrugged helplessly. I dropped my soda and ran to the road.

It was totally, totally dark, and I was running as fast as I could. The road really didn't seem that long when we were driving. Just when I thought I was close and would see some lights, I'd see another dark stretch ahead.

Finally, I saw the bridge. Jeremy had climbed over the railing, and stood on the bridge, looking down at the water. I tried to call his name but I was out of breath. I ran to the bridge.

I didn't think he even noticed me, but when I ran to him he said, "Just leave me alone, Elena."

I was holding onto the railing, trying to catch my breath. I looked down at the dark water. Then I said, "Climb back over. Let's go home."

He was muttering kind of incoherently, and I was breathing so hard that I could barely hear him. He said something about wanting to die at the same place as Mom and Dad, so that he'd go to the same place they did. I walked to him and grabbed his arm. I told him that he couldn't do it, simply because I'm barely hanging on as it is, and I can't take another death. I saw headlights behind us, and heard a car door open and shut.

I said, "Thursday's the first day of school. I can't miss it to go to another funeral. I just can't."

He finally looked at me. I pulled his arm, and he climbed back over the rail. Then he collapsed onto his hands and knees and I collapsed beside him. I was digging my hands into his arm and his back, afraid to let go.

We stayed like that for a while, not saying anything. Then we helped each other stand up. We walked down the bridge, where Bonnie waited in her car. We got inside and drove home.

* * *

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Dear Diary,

I'm sitting on the porch, waiting for Bonnie. We're going shopping for school supplies. Jeremy's still asleep.

Things are going to be all right this year. I know they will. I'm in charge of my mind and my emotions, and I have Bonnie and Jenna to support me. I don't have to worry about what's going to happen tomorrow.


End file.
